Discussion with Samdhi
After Finalization of the match the most important work is to discuss everything with Samdhi.
- About Roka, will it be in small form in either one’s home or be celebrated at a hired venue.(All points of discussion regarding Roka are here..Roka)
- Date of Mudda, Marriage and other events
- No. Of heads from groom side in reception and girls side in Mudda/Sangeet.
- How many behen beti will be there and what to be given to them as customary.
- Gifts etc Mother in law as customary.
- Mudda / Milni Time.
- Ladies Milni
- Korath Time
- Barat Time
- Fera Time
- Invitation card
- No. of Heads in Barat and later in reception
- Food Menu for all evvents
- Sajangoth.. Yes or No, If Yes for how many and any special arrangement during that time?
- Parosa for how many?
- Venue, Décor, Catering for both sangeet and marriage day.
- Budget.. Optional
how much is girl side budget, calculate keeping in mind unforeseen expenses of 10% extra and keep in mind expenses start from the day you confirm marriage. Generally budget is broadly divided as follows for girls side:-
- Mudda - What will they take in Mudda, Behen Beti Nos and gift items, Ladies Milni kitni jagah aur kitne ki, Gents Milni, Laddu / dry fruits what quantity and quality and when to send, Girl side invitation card to be sent to how many people in boys side- with name , address and phone number.
Samdhan ka saman me kya hoga. What to give to boy viz. Attire, jewellery electronics etc. and thus finalise amount for this head. Mudda milni timings.
- Marriage day - Date of marriage to be finalized, number of guests for barat and reception, preferences of décor, caterer, venue, events of that day, Parking arrangements, Security, welcoming guests with mala or not and also when to go together to finalise all of the above. Sajan goth hoga ya nahi, Daat lenge kya, Perhawani me kya lenge, sakh jalebi me kya dena, as per pandit finalise korath, dhukav, fera and bidai time. And thus finalise budget for this head.
- Ornaments and clothes to girl- its on the girls side to decide about this and discussion for this with boy’s side is not mandatory.
- Girl’s family expenses on themselves and relatives – Same as above.
- Excel sheet for budget Demo excel sheet
Exhaustive Guest / Gift List
Roka / Sagai / Neg
After both sides decide to get the boy and the girl married, the first most thing done is ROKA or engagement.
ROKA is either done then and there by…
- Tilak (TIKA) to Bride and either envelope or any ornament like chain, ginni, ring etc is given.
(Keep in mind while going to see match to Carry Roli, Chawal, Kismis, Ginni or Ring or any other ornament, if you are interested in ROKA in its shortest form)
- Sometimes people celebrate ROKA by making it a big event and organizing it in some banquet with generally close family members and friends. No. of guests in such occasions are generally 50 to 100 from each side. The arrangement and expense is liability of girl side, generally.
Things to do (Chronologially):-
- Ask Groom side:- About preference of location, venue, date, time, no of guests, food, photography etc and arrange accordingly.
Number of packs of Dry fruits/ Fruits/ Sweets or any other returning gift to be finalized with groom side and should be arrange accordingly at the ROKA ceremony venue to be handed over to them, preferably before the function for onward distribution.
MILNI / Envelopes.. How many and what amount . Like for PIttar, Pitrani, Dada, dadi, (Or the eldest) Nana, Nani, (Or the eldest), Bar bhatai, Samdhi, samdhan and their relatives. Also discuss if any envelopes or any other gifts are to be given to children / Driver / Maids etc.
After garland exchange ring ceremony- Jhola Bharai- A tray of Dry fruits and envelope.
Chronological order on the day:-
- Girl’s Tika, Jhola Bharai, Gifts etc and Mala
- Boy’s Tika, Jhola Bharai, Gifts etc and Mala
- Ring Exchange
- Milni / Envelopes exchange
- Dalla/ Laddu Dabba / Dry fruits etc to be handed over to boy’s side.
Notes: Make arrangements for food of drivers and maids etc separately.Items in Jhola bharai from both sides entirely depend on ones wish and capacity.
Mudda/ Neg / Milni / Sangeet- One function
- Mudda, Milni, Neg and Sangeet takes place generally on the same date & Venue.
It generally starts in the afternoon and ends around 11.00 PM with sangeet sandhya.
- Bride Side alongwith their relatives and Purohit reaches the venue generally in the afternoon or otherwise as decided for Tilak of Groom where proper arrangements of Gadda, Satranji, Chairs and food are made by Groom side for the guests of both the sides.
- Groom side initiates the Tilak ceremony by approaching the Bride side with colts, Ornaments, dry fruits and Laddu etc for Neg of the Bride.
(Arrangements by the Groom side- Laddu tray, Aarta thali, clothes for bride, ornaments and envelopes)
- Ladies Milni.. Bride side ladies give Milni to Groom side ladies. This generally contains envelopes with a token amount as respect towards the femme importante of Groom side. Here a responsible lady from the groom side guides the bride side to meet, greet and gift their ladies counterpart. The same is done for male members also.
- Kachola ka neg.. Married Behen-Beti and Bhua of Groom side visits Bride side with Kachola (Tray) which contains 4 Laddu and an envelope and presents it to Brides father who in turn puts one more envelop on the Kachola as neg and returns it to them.
- Thereafter Tilak of Groom by Bride ‘s family..
Arrangements by Bride side.. Mint leafs tray, Dry coconut, Puja ki thali, var mala, Envelopes and other items as advised by Purohit. Here tilak is done to the groom and he is gifted fruits, dry fruits, envelopes and clothes etc by Brides family. Brides father gives one coin wrapped in moli to Grooms father as a SHAGUN for tilak.
- Chikni Kothli.. Groom side gives clothes, cosmetics, ornaments, accessories, Hinglu ka chura, Mehndi, rakhi lumba, envelope and along with two sets of kurta topi and two sets of toys to the Bride. They also give fruits, sweets dry fruits, condiments etc preferable wrapped in red and yellow cloth.
- Post Tilak and Chikni Kothli and after having refreshments etc the function of Sangeet starts and continues till it lasts. Simultaneously with sangeet program dinner is served.
- Notes: todays arrangement and expenses are generally borne by Grooms family and all arrangements of venue, décor, drinks, hi-tea, dinner, desserts etc is done by the Grooms family. For today the Grooms family sends proper invitation to the Brides family and pays all respect and attention so that the guests are treated well and that they feel happy with the hospitality.
The ceremony of marriage is initiated by this ritual of VIVAH HATH. It is generally done 3 or 5 days benfore marriage day. On this occasion both sides in their respective abodes call misranis or they themselves sing mangal geet. Bride side generally makes mangori and Groom side does ties naal (NAAL TANANA). Misrani presides over this ritual and after its over she is remunerated suitably.
PEELA CHAWAL (Haldaat)
This is also called HALDI HAATH or PEELA HATH.
- Puja of Sri Ganesh ji is done.
- Other rituals as per prevailing practice of your family or advised by MISRANI.
- After its over, Envelopes to Behen-beti and misrani is given.
Korath & Nikasi
Sirgunthi – Juaa
Devi Devta Pujan
Devi Devta Vida karna
Check List of major arrangements